I'm sure that every newlywed has that time of adjustment when they are trying to merge two lives together. I knew going in that it wouldn't be easy. Our dating life wasn't easy so why would married life be? What I didn't know was just how hard it would be.
In one day I changed states, jobs, homes, and churches. I knew it would be difficult. After all every married woman I had talked to before told me it would. What I didn't know was just how difficult.
The first week back to work my husband went back to a job he'd had for around six years. My job stayed the same however the store and the people did not. Transfers are interesting things, you clock in and do the same work you've always done only with different people in a whole different way. I spent every night that first week begging Tim not to make me go back. It wasn't that the job was terrible or even that the people were mean but they weren't my friends. They weren't the co-workers I had spent the last four years with. That first week one of my old co-worker's mother passed away. A few of the others I'd grown to love lost a friend in Iraq. I hated not being with them.
On top of that there was the scheduling conflict with my husband leaving at 6:15am and me not returning home until 11pm. I went two days without seeing him. Now grant it it was better than the two weeks we would go while dating, but difficult none the less. The evenings we did have together were spent with me trying to put a house in order and him doing church work. We also spent one day teaching at Vacation Bible School for his parents church and another gathering and decorating for our own upcoming VBS.
That Sunday our one day off together, in between church services of course, his brothers decided to come for a visit. Now I love them and they are a lot of fun to be around but I was tired! Thankfully I had the good grace not to show it.
Monday came again and with it came work and VBS. I barely had time to eat between the two let alone clean my house. My wonderful mother-in-law was kind enough to tell me if I had had a clean house during vacation Bible school she would have hated me. While that made me feel better, I could still hear my own mother's voice in the back of my mind telling me my room was a pig pen.
Throughout the week various people would ask me questions that the pastor's wife should know. Unfortunately somebody forgot to tell the pastor. At one point I looked at my husband and said, "Between opening and closing songs what do I do?" He didn't have an answer. Tim had worked so long on his own he never even thought to include me. I felt guilty for being relieved. After all I was "the pastor's wife." Nobody seemed to mind however and we somehow made it through.
This last weekend had both of us working Saturday. That left Saturday evening for him to work on a Sermon and Sunday school lesson. It left me time to miss time with my husband. We are after all NEWLYWEDS! But, how do you argue with God? I'm finding it very difficult to say "Please spend time with me," knowing that he is exhausted and this is a ministry, one we both agreed to.
Sunday I had a bridal shower to attend while he had phone calls for the church to catch up on. There were the usual to services to attend and then he had to go to work from 10pm until 7am. Once again are at odds with scheduling. The next few days I am working second shift while he works third. I do believe I will miss him.
I am quickly learning that there is no such thing as a routine for a working pastor's wife. I am required my forty hours of work and then if I'm lucky I may see the man I married for a few hours a day. At this time I would like to thank the women in my life, my mother especially, who have gone before me and by example have shown that this will work and that it is all worth it.
I know God has called us to be together. I know that the road will be rocky at times. However, I know that there will be greater times of peace and abundance. I know that walking in the Will of God is so much easier now with my husband by my side then it ever was without him. I am excited to see what God has planned next. I wouldn't change a day of the last three weeks for the world!
Did I mention we have a date on Friday night? I can't wait!
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