"My house is a mess" has become my mantra. Never mind that I have only lived here a month and still haven't unpacked everything yet, or that we both work forty hours a week with a myriad of other activities between the church and our families. My dishes are done, my floors are swept, my laundry generally stays caught up, the bathrooms are scrubbed , and today I even made my bed; but still I feel that because it doesn't look like a magazine picture I've failed.
After all, both our mothers work and keep house. If they can do it with years of practice why can't I? (Note I ignore the lack of practice in my own life) Then there is the fact that we represent our church. What if someone came to the door and saw all the mail on the table? Surely they would realise what a messy state the poor pastor lives in.
This is the conversation I had with my husband the other day. He graciously reminded me that neither of our mother's houses are perfect. The church is used to him being a bachelor and the house being a mess (a weak argument in my mind) Also, we've only been married a month, I shouldn't expect to be perfect.
I do believe he is right. Especially since all this has been done in my own strength. Today was different.
Today I got up, started laundry, grabbed my coffee and my Bible and spent an hour with God. Since then, the laundry has been cycled, the floors swept, bathrooms scrubbed, pictures hung, and dishes done. I still accomplished a lot this morning but even more than that, I feel good despite what I didn't have time to get to.
Funny the last verse I read this morning was "He makes all things beautiful in His time"
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Maintaining my Relationship-with God
During a phone conversation the other day my mother admonished me not to allow Tim to become my whole world. Of course, she was pointing out that even though we were married we both would need time apart, he with his brothers and friends, and me with my sisters, and of course my mother. Oddly enough that isn't where my struggle lies. When Tim's brothers arrived at our house two Sundays ago, I was pleased that he would have some time with them, knowing that those few weeks before the wedding had been to hectic. I was excited to see my sisters and cousins at the bridal shower last Sunday because I needed to discuss the many changes my life had taken with the women who knew me best and would understand. No it is easy when time allows to run off with the girls. The difficulty lies in making daily time for my Saviour.
People assume because your father is a preacher you are spiritual. The assumption is greater when you marry a minister. I'd like to think that I am spiritually in tune with the Creator of the Universe, but more often then not I spend time thinking about, rather than spending time with Him.
This is a struggle I had before marriage. It didn't magically disappear. "Well I'm a minister's wife now I have plenty of time and desire to read my Bible." Life doesn't work that way. The desire is there, at times. The time is there, if you desire it. Yet, when those moments arise why is it that I am so quickly drawn into another direction; my house needs cleaning, I need to update my Facebook status, I really want to finish that book, now to rotate laundry, maybe I should call my mom, look Tim has a moment free this could be fun. Even this blog can be used to separate me from the Lover of my Soul who is patiently waiting to spend time with me.
I recently read a blog by a friend of my who is not a Christian. Yet, she knew meditation was key for her to feel at peace, that sense of "time out." Then I open my Bible and read Psalm 81:13, "Oh that my people had hearkened unto me..." My thought is that there is a loving God who knows the crazy world we live in better than we. He knows the strength and wisdom we need to walk in it. So why aren't we taking time to meet with Him daily?
Currently, I am going to sign off this computer and head over to the church to spend some time at a piano with the One my soul is truly longing for. What are you going to do?
People assume because your father is a preacher you are spiritual. The assumption is greater when you marry a minister. I'd like to think that I am spiritually in tune with the Creator of the Universe, but more often then not I spend time thinking about, rather than spending time with Him.
This is a struggle I had before marriage. It didn't magically disappear. "Well I'm a minister's wife now I have plenty of time and desire to read my Bible." Life doesn't work that way. The desire is there, at times. The time is there, if you desire it. Yet, when those moments arise why is it that I am so quickly drawn into another direction; my house needs cleaning, I need to update my Facebook status, I really want to finish that book, now to rotate laundry, maybe I should call my mom, look Tim has a moment free this could be fun. Even this blog can be used to separate me from the Lover of my Soul who is patiently waiting to spend time with me.
I recently read a blog by a friend of my who is not a Christian. Yet, she knew meditation was key for her to feel at peace, that sense of "time out." Then I open my Bible and read Psalm 81:13, "Oh that my people had hearkened unto me..." My thought is that there is a loving God who knows the crazy world we live in better than we. He knows the strength and wisdom we need to walk in it. So why aren't we taking time to meet with Him daily?
Currently, I am going to sign off this computer and head over to the church to spend some time at a piano with the One my soul is truly longing for. What are you going to do?
Monday, August 9, 2010
Adjusting to a New Life
I'm sure that every newlywed has that time of adjustment when they are trying to merge two lives together. I knew going in that it wouldn't be easy. Our dating life wasn't easy so why would married life be? What I didn't know was just how hard it would be.
In one day I changed states, jobs, homes, and churches. I knew it would be difficult. After all every married woman I had talked to before told me it would. What I didn't know was just how difficult.
The first week back to work my husband went back to a job he'd had for around six years. My job stayed the same however the store and the people did not. Transfers are interesting things, you clock in and do the same work you've always done only with different people in a whole different way. I spent every night that first week begging Tim not to make me go back. It wasn't that the job was terrible or even that the people were mean but they weren't my friends. They weren't the co-workers I had spent the last four years with. That first week one of my old co-worker's mother passed away. A few of the others I'd grown to love lost a friend in Iraq. I hated not being with them.
On top of that there was the scheduling conflict with my husband leaving at 6:15am and me not returning home until 11pm. I went two days without seeing him. Now grant it it was better than the two weeks we would go while dating, but difficult none the less. The evenings we did have together were spent with me trying to put a house in order and him doing church work. We also spent one day teaching at Vacation Bible School for his parents church and another gathering and decorating for our own upcoming VBS.
That Sunday our one day off together, in between church services of course, his brothers decided to come for a visit. Now I love them and they are a lot of fun to be around but I was tired! Thankfully I had the good grace not to show it.
Monday came again and with it came work and VBS. I barely had time to eat between the two let alone clean my house. My wonderful mother-in-law was kind enough to tell me if I had had a clean house during vacation Bible school she would have hated me. While that made me feel better, I could still hear my own mother's voice in the back of my mind telling me my room was a pig pen.
Throughout the week various people would ask me questions that the pastor's wife should know. Unfortunately somebody forgot to tell the pastor. At one point I looked at my husband and said, "Between opening and closing songs what do I do?" He didn't have an answer. Tim had worked so long on his own he never even thought to include me. I felt guilty for being relieved. After all I was "the pastor's wife." Nobody seemed to mind however and we somehow made it through.
This last weekend had both of us working Saturday. That left Saturday evening for him to work on a Sermon and Sunday school lesson. It left me time to miss time with my husband. We are after all NEWLYWEDS! But, how do you argue with God? I'm finding it very difficult to say "Please spend time with me," knowing that he is exhausted and this is a ministry, one we both agreed to.
Sunday I had a bridal shower to attend while he had phone calls for the church to catch up on. There were the usual to services to attend and then he had to go to work from 10pm until 7am. Once again are at odds with scheduling. The next few days I am working second shift while he works third. I do believe I will miss him.
I am quickly learning that there is no such thing as a routine for a working pastor's wife. I am required my forty hours of work and then if I'm lucky I may see the man I married for a few hours a day. At this time I would like to thank the women in my life, my mother especially, who have gone before me and by example have shown that this will work and that it is all worth it.
I know God has called us to be together. I know that the road will be rocky at times. However, I know that there will be greater times of peace and abundance. I know that walking in the Will of God is so much easier now with my husband by my side then it ever was without him. I am excited to see what God has planned next. I wouldn't change a day of the last three weeks for the world!
Did I mention we have a date on Friday night? I can't wait!
In one day I changed states, jobs, homes, and churches. I knew it would be difficult. After all every married woman I had talked to before told me it would. What I didn't know was just how difficult.
The first week back to work my husband went back to a job he'd had for around six years. My job stayed the same however the store and the people did not. Transfers are interesting things, you clock in and do the same work you've always done only with different people in a whole different way. I spent every night that first week begging Tim not to make me go back. It wasn't that the job was terrible or even that the people were mean but they weren't my friends. They weren't the co-workers I had spent the last four years with. That first week one of my old co-worker's mother passed away. A few of the others I'd grown to love lost a friend in Iraq. I hated not being with them.
On top of that there was the scheduling conflict with my husband leaving at 6:15am and me not returning home until 11pm. I went two days without seeing him. Now grant it it was better than the two weeks we would go while dating, but difficult none the less. The evenings we did have together were spent with me trying to put a house in order and him doing church work. We also spent one day teaching at Vacation Bible School for his parents church and another gathering and decorating for our own upcoming VBS.
That Sunday our one day off together, in between church services of course, his brothers decided to come for a visit. Now I love them and they are a lot of fun to be around but I was tired! Thankfully I had the good grace not to show it.
Monday came again and with it came work and VBS. I barely had time to eat between the two let alone clean my house. My wonderful mother-in-law was kind enough to tell me if I had had a clean house during vacation Bible school she would have hated me. While that made me feel better, I could still hear my own mother's voice in the back of my mind telling me my room was a pig pen.
Throughout the week various people would ask me questions that the pastor's wife should know. Unfortunately somebody forgot to tell the pastor. At one point I looked at my husband and said, "Between opening and closing songs what do I do?" He didn't have an answer. Tim had worked so long on his own he never even thought to include me. I felt guilty for being relieved. After all I was "the pastor's wife." Nobody seemed to mind however and we somehow made it through.
This last weekend had both of us working Saturday. That left Saturday evening for him to work on a Sermon and Sunday school lesson. It left me time to miss time with my husband. We are after all NEWLYWEDS! But, how do you argue with God? I'm finding it very difficult to say "Please spend time with me," knowing that he is exhausted and this is a ministry, one we both agreed to.
Sunday I had a bridal shower to attend while he had phone calls for the church to catch up on. There were the usual to services to attend and then he had to go to work from 10pm until 7am. Once again are at odds with scheduling. The next few days I am working second shift while he works third. I do believe I will miss him.
I am quickly learning that there is no such thing as a routine for a working pastor's wife. I am required my forty hours of work and then if I'm lucky I may see the man I married for a few hours a day. At this time I would like to thank the women in my life, my mother especially, who have gone before me and by example have shown that this will work and that it is all worth it.
I know God has called us to be together. I know that the road will be rocky at times. However, I know that there will be greater times of peace and abundance. I know that walking in the Will of God is so much easier now with my husband by my side then it ever was without him. I am excited to see what God has planned next. I wouldn't change a day of the last three weeks for the world!
Did I mention we have a date on Friday night? I can't wait!
Getting Started
Is it wrong for a minister's wife to say I absolutely LOVED my honeymoon? O well, I just did. It was great. Both of us had saved ourselves for marriage and that just made it so special! We spent a week relaxing. We toured museums and historical sites. The loving man even took me purse shopping! On our way home he drove four hours out of our way so I could visit my grandmother for a few hours. I mean, I loved my honeymoon. Then we came home.
I had spent my entire life living with my family. The few times I moved out of my parents home I was with other relatives. Suddenly we get home and I'm an hour from my closest relative and dead tired. The house had crepe' paper from one end to the other, thanks to his siblings and some friends. I thought it was hilarious. We opened our wedding gifts and laughed over the number of towels we had received. Towels that weren't even the color of our registry. Then it was time for bed.
Tim had no problems falling asleep. After all, this had been his house for the last three years. It wasn't mine though. The bed wasn't mine, the cats weren't mine, he had my only pillow here, most of my clothes were still at my mothers, the pictures on the wall weren't mine. As my husband drifted off into sleep I began to cry. I wanted to go home.
It's an interesting thing being married. You love the man enough to know he just spent the better part of fourteen hours driving and needs his sleep,but O, how I wished he would wake up. He didn't. He just rolled over and continued snoring.
I proceeded then to go back downstairs and pick up the mess we had left from the gifts. Then I started a load of laundry, swept the kitchen floor, and curled up on the couch to cry some more. In the back of my mind I was listening for him to come down the steps to find me. He didn't.
I went back upstairs to bed and made no quiet attempt to climb in. He never even stirred. Once again I began to cry. I kept thinking "Why am I here? He doesn't even care."
Finally, in complete despair I got up and went to the computer room to sleep in the guest bed. Our first night in our home together and I spent it in another room. He still never noticed!
Around 3am I rolled and awoke with a start when I didn't hit my husband. It took me a couple minutes to figure out where I was. Suddenly, I really missed the man so I went back into our room to go to bed.
He rolled over then and put his arms around me. I finally settled into a peaceful sleep.
The next morning I mentioned to him my nocturnal wanderings. "You didn't even come to find me!" I stated. He stared at me for a few moments then put his arms around me and said "I thought you had gone to the bathroom."
Lesson learned: men have no sense of time when they are sleeping!
I had spent my entire life living with my family. The few times I moved out of my parents home I was with other relatives. Suddenly we get home and I'm an hour from my closest relative and dead tired. The house had crepe' paper from one end to the other, thanks to his siblings and some friends. I thought it was hilarious. We opened our wedding gifts and laughed over the number of towels we had received. Towels that weren't even the color of our registry. Then it was time for bed.
Tim had no problems falling asleep. After all, this had been his house for the last three years. It wasn't mine though. The bed wasn't mine, the cats weren't mine, he had my only pillow here, most of my clothes were still at my mothers, the pictures on the wall weren't mine. As my husband drifted off into sleep I began to cry. I wanted to go home.
It's an interesting thing being married. You love the man enough to know he just spent the better part of fourteen hours driving and needs his sleep,but O, how I wished he would wake up. He didn't. He just rolled over and continued snoring.
I proceeded then to go back downstairs and pick up the mess we had left from the gifts. Then I started a load of laundry, swept the kitchen floor, and curled up on the couch to cry some more. In the back of my mind I was listening for him to come down the steps to find me. He didn't.
I went back upstairs to bed and made no quiet attempt to climb in. He never even stirred. Once again I began to cry. I kept thinking "Why am I here? He doesn't even care."
Finally, in complete despair I got up and went to the computer room to sleep in the guest bed. Our first night in our home together and I spent it in another room. He still never noticed!
Around 3am I rolled and awoke with a start when I didn't hit my husband. It took me a couple minutes to figure out where I was. Suddenly, I really missed the man so I went back into our room to go to bed.
He rolled over then and put his arms around me. I finally settled into a peaceful sleep.
The next morning I mentioned to him my nocturnal wanderings. "You didn't even come to find me!" I stated. He stared at me for a few moments then put his arms around me and said "I thought you had gone to the bathroom."
Lesson learned: men have no sense of time when they are sleeping!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
The Beginning
We met working at Walmart. I liked him from the start. After all I was a minister's daughter and he was a minister so "it was meant to be!" Not only that, but he had such a sweet smile and people respected him, for a minister fresh out of Bible school that's a high compliment. Most of the people we worked with didn't even go to church for Easter! Unfortunately he didn't agree with my ideas of "fate." After all he was a Baptist minister and I was a Pentecostal, obviously this was not a relationship worth pursuing. After a year and a half I moved away. He just moved on.
It's amazing how God works, my father had taken a small country church and through a series of events I became the worship leader there. After some time Tim took a church an hour away also in the country. For the next three years outside of the occasional comment on Myspace or Facebook we had little to do with each other.
Until one day his sister decided to take matters into her own hands and began texting me about him. Once again I became interested. Only this time so did he. Two days before his sister's wedding Tim finally asked me out. Seven months later we were engaged and on July 17th, 2010 we said "I do."
What changed? God. I learned alot living with my parents as they fought to keep a church of less than ten running. I also learned alot about my own relationship with God. It's a good thing to because I'm going to need it.
It's amazing how God works, my father had taken a small country church and through a series of events I became the worship leader there. After some time Tim took a church an hour away also in the country. For the next three years outside of the occasional comment on Myspace or Facebook we had little to do with each other.
Until one day his sister decided to take matters into her own hands and began texting me about him. Once again I became interested. Only this time so did he. Two days before his sister's wedding Tim finally asked me out. Seven months later we were engaged and on July 17th, 2010 we said "I do."
What changed? God. I learned alot living with my parents as they fought to keep a church of less than ten running. I also learned alot about my own relationship with God. It's a good thing to because I'm going to need it.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)